For Sustainability-Minded Singles:Some Seasonal Tips For a Winter Dating Boost

Something for those readers who are single and would rather be in a partnership. Here’s an article I wrote recently for the internet dating site, Natural Friends:

Are you feeling a lack of enthusiasm for dating as the year draws to a close?

Longer nights, shorter days, colder and wetter weather can all enhance our natural tendency at this time of the year to want to hibernate. We crave more sleep, less physical activity and more starchy, warm food. Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing and, if we listened to our bodies, they would be telling us something about how we can make the most of our winter lethargy. What nature is trying to tell us in relation to our dating activities, I believe, it that this is an ideal time to review, re-evaluate and plan.

What does this mean when it comes to finding a life partner?

Winter can be an ideal time to:

Take Care of Yourself. This is about treating yourself as you would have others treat you. If you cannot love and respect yourself, how can you expect another to love and respect you? In practice, this means remembering to rest, taking compassionate steps to nurture yourself when ill, eating healthily to boost your immunity to winter chills, taking moderate, enjoyable exercise and talking to yourself kindly.

Review Your Year. What has been happening with your dating activities and your efforts to find a partner this year? What has worked and what hasn’t? Can you pinpoint your strengths and weaknesses? What kind of feedback have you had from others? How much credibility do you give it and what can you learn from that?

Plan for Next Year. Knowing what you know now, what do you want to do about finding a partner next year?

One of the exercises I offer coaching clients is to write a description of their ideal life partner. They then produce a detailed picture of Mr or Ms X  in terms of their values and attitudes to life, work, children, the planet, money, health, sex, personal growth – everything they can think of that’s important to them. This can be a great way to vision a partner and attract them into your life. It can also draw your attention to your own values in primary relationships and highlight some areas for personal growth.

Another benefit of taking the time and energy to elicit this type of grounding, rational information is that it can serve to steady you during the headier times of falling in love, when you may be prone to forgetting (or dismissing completely)  the importance of compatibility as well as chemistry in a relationship. Some say that it’s our souls who fall in love, but it’s our personalities who have to get on with eachother!

So, I would encourage you to make the most of the opportunity that nature offers us during the winter months for review, self-care and renewal. I wish you well in refreshing your enthusiasm for your quest and may this serve you well in finding your life partner in 2010.