The monthly newsletter for aspiring downshifters,
sustainable living enthusiasts and sustainopreneurs.

December 2007
In this issue...

1. Jumping Through Other People's Hoops.
2. Sustainable Communication. By Lee Glickstein.
3. Your exploration this month.
4. Quotes of the month
5. Want to comment or contribute?
6. Teleclasses and personal coaching

1. Jumping Through Other People's Hoops.

How much of your life is controlled by others and how much by you?

Last month, I was fortunate enough to spend a weekend relaxing and walking in South Yorkshire and the Peak District. The weather was what we optimistically call “changeable” here in the UK! I’m not averse to carrying on walking in a light drizzle but, when it got very cold and very wet, decided that the small museum in Castleton looked exceptionally interesting!

Drying off and warming up in the museum, I noticed amongst the exhibits an old plaque displaying the Serenity Prayer:

“God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change:
The courage to change the things I can:
And the wisdom to know the difference.”

Now, like many of you I suspect, I must’ve seen that prayer a hundred times in one form or another. It always brings my mind back to the very basics of living in simplicity. This time, it also reminded me of the struggles we can have when caught in the rat race.

One of the problems we face in the rat race is that we can find ourselves spending a large part of our waking hours jumping through other people’s hoops. We might be keeping to strict working hours and conditions, for example, following rules we don’t agree with or codes of conduct that clash with our values. Maybe we live in a personal or business environment that feels oppressive or restricting because our needs and opinions are not being taken into account. Perhaps our life looks like it was designed for someone else. In this type of situation we can end up feeling very much like a victim of circumstance. Well, what can we do about that?

Acceptance.

We can just accept how life is and decide to be content with that. Too uncomfortable? I would suggest that acceptance is a great place to start with any situation but not a good place to stay for any length of time if it leads to us to becoming complacent or lethargic. (If you would like to read more about acceptance and the difference between that and complacency, then you could see my article “Accepting What Is”.) When we have regrets, start blaming ourselves or others and wishing “if only…” then we fritter our energy away and block ourselves to making progress.

In contrast, when we start by accepting our situation, then we are able to focus all our energy on moving forward and improving our lot. This, I think, is what is meant by the “serenity to accept”. Often, from this place of calm serenity we can start to see that there are indeed alternatives to playing the victim. We can begin to imagine a different way of living that is more in keeping with our nature. Our actions spring from our thoughts and being able to imagine some other possibilities than staying on the treadmill is the first stage to stepping off and towards a more fulfilling existence.

There’s another part to having the “serenity to accept”. This is about knowing that it’s ok to enjoy the journey however many highs and lows there might be on it! Rather than depriving ourselves of our happiness because we haven’t “got there yet”, we can cultivate an attitude of acceptance on each step along the way.

Courage

Being able to visualise an alternative way of living can seem easy compared to “having the courage to change the things you can.” There have been times in my life, just prior to a large and necessary change, when I have felt absolutely terrified beyond belief. This has usually been so severe that I have felt paralysed and totally unable to function normally. Having lived to tell the tale, I now know that that feeling of paralysis usually heralds a new awakening. So I find it much easier to “just be” when it happens, trusting that the phase of terror, and often confusion too, will pass. During one of these times, I was complaining about my agonies to my brother, a man of deep thought and very few words, and explaining that I felt as though I was at the bottom of a very deep, dark pit. He simply retorted “I guess the only way out is up then”. The next day, I sprang into action.

Wisdom

Which brings me neatly on to wisdom. How do you know when you can change something?

When you’ve encountered similar situations in the past and have found a way through it.

When you know about someone else who’s found their way through a similar situation.

When you can imagine yourself succeeding in making the change.

When you just know in your heart that it’s right for you.

When you can identify the parts of the situation that you have responsibility for.

Remember that making a change doesn’t have to be a tangible, external change e.g. changing your home, changing your job, changing your partner. It can be a change in your attitude to your circumstances and your response to it. Living in serenity and simplicity is ultimately about taking responsibility for your own experience and jumping through your own hoops.

Suggested Further Reading

Peace is Every Step. Thich Nhat Hahn.

---

2. Sustainable Communication: Let Gravity Have It’s Way With You. By Lee Glickstein.

Ever wanted to get an important message across to others without resorting to "Death by Powerpoint", but with natural charisma and passion? Then Lee Glickstein’s book “Be Heard Now!: Tap Into You Inner Speaker and Communicate with Ease” is a refreshing introduction to speaking from the heart and is my favourite book on public speaking. So, I’m delighted to bring you this article from Lee in the newsletter this month.

Sustainable communication simply asks of you that you do not exhaust your resources. The most valuable natural resources in a room are your listeners and your self.

Your audience is a living, breathing, interconnected field of seething vitality, creativity, sensitivity, intelligence, beauty and value. They are pulsing with life, crave good-natured adventure, and love a masterfully facilitated learning environment.

The express way to such mastery is to develop your capacity to refresh and renew them, rather than exhaust them. You do this by not talking at them or to them, but with them, and being quiet together when there is nothing to say.

Move in this direction by practicing allowing your presence to drop straight down toward the center of the earth at any moment. Let gravity have its way with you. This is the essence of effortlessness.

When you can go with gravity while inviting the others to drop with you into common ground, communication takes care of itself with no struggle. When your words resonate down and are conducted through the Earth, they flow graciously and naturally.

You transmit cellularly and soul to soul. Power, magnetism, engagement, and leadership effectiveness simply happen.

But to get there, it must be your top priority to renew and not exhaust your listeners. This priority calls on you to hold them in the highest esteem and make it easy for them to be with you and listen to you. You do this by speaking (and being silent) in Relational Presence with one person at a time and more and more from the center of the earth.

If this direction appeals to you, the practice is like going to the gym and developing the muscle of interpersonal power. This is a gym that generates a lot more pleasure than pain, and along the way all self-consciousness and performance anxiety--even severe stage fright--naturally drain into the ground.

The other important natural resource in the room to consider is your self. By simply becoming proficient at plugging your feet (sometimes your seat) into your Earth source you allow yourself to be recharged with the vital electricity of Life.
This underground infusion allows you to be held and inspired by your listeners. Your energy is renewed even as you speak!

© Lee Glickstein www.speakingcircles.com

3. Your exploration this month.

Who do you know who has succeeded in changing an aspect of their life or business that you would like to change in yours?

How can you copy them?

What will you do differently?

---

4. Quotes of the month.

"I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they plan their lives. Perhaps that is because escape is easier than change."
Jim Rohn

“ Sometimes we need to step away from our normal way of doing things with a spirit of discovery and exploration – and also a feeling of compassion for ourselves and others.”
Sharon Salzberg.

---

5. Want to comment or contribute?

If you would like to comment on any aspect of this newsletter or submit an article for inclusion in it, please contact me by email.

6. Teleclasses and personal coaching.

"6 Steps to a Sustainable Small Business"

A series of 6 teleclasses, each 45 minutes long, exploring the three main elements of the Triple Bottom Line of Sustainable Business Practices, People, Planet, Profit and how to incorporate them into your business.

More details.

"How to Step off the Treadmill"

A series of six teleclasses, each 45 minutes long, exploring the elements of downshifting, the reality of living a sustainable lifestyle in a consumer driven society and how to motivate ourselves to make the switch.

More details.

What is a Teleclass?

A teleclass is a straightforward, low cost and sustainable way of taking part in a group learning session. It's like a conference telephone call.Each participant is supplied with a phone number to call at the appointed time. When you call, you will be welcomed to a virtual classroom where you can listen to the class leader present the teleclass material and you can participate by asking or answering questions if you wish. So it's just like being in a real classroom or workshop setting except that you can take part in the comfort of your own home without having to travel anywhere!

More details

Personal Coaching

One-to-one coaching can help you:

• let go of your old,stressful way of life, find a new path of vitality and an improved way of living.
• deal with fears surrounding financial responsibilities, your relationships with others and other consequences of making a major life change.
• improve your health, wellbeing and spiritual life.
• further your personal growth.
• achieve balance, clarity and peace.
  
  You can view further details on personal coaching here.

7. Privacy policy

If this email has been forwarded to you and you would like to subscribe, you can do so easily on my website, here: www.sallylever.co.uk.

I will never sell, share or otherwise divulge your contact details, including your email address, to any third party.

Subscriptions to this newsletter grow by your recommendation. If you have enjoyed reading it, please do forward it to your friends, relations and colleagues. Please feel free to use any material from this newsletter. All I ask is that you acknowledge me as the source and include my web address.

---

Have a fruitful month!

Sally

Sally Lever
Sustainable Living Coach

+44 (0)1749 674842
sally@sallylever.co.uk
http://www.sallylever.co.uk/

7 Welsford Avenue, Wells, Somerset. BA5 2HX. UK.