The monthly newsletter for aspiring downshifters,
and sustainable living enthusiasts.

December 2006
In this issue...

1. Making Changes.
2. How to Manifest Some Community Soul. By Neil Millar.
3. This month's exploration
4. Quotes of the month
5. Want to comment or contribute?
6. Teleclasses and personal coaching

1. Making Changes.

When I first decided to downshift some 8 years ago, together with my family, one of the decisions we made was to move house. We migrated from the leafy suburbs of Surrey to sunny Somerset, where we believed it was less expensive to live. I can remember that, during one of my many car journeys down to Somerset looking for a house to rent, I found myself horribly lost and resorted to asking a passing stranger for directions.

“Would you give me directions to Langport, please?” I asked.

He looked perplexed for a few moments, closing his eyes, raising his hand to his forehead and scratching it.

“Oh no,” I thought “maybe he’s not local.”

Then he finally looked me in the eye and said rather accusingly “What, from here you mean?”

And I’ve always remembered that incident, not just because it made me laugh, but because I thought it was representative of some of the situations we find ourselves in in life. There are times when we would dearly love to make changes in our lives, but find it difficult to do that from here, from the situation that we are presented with at that moment. Then we find ourselves thinking “If only things were different, then I would willingly downshift/ take the children out of school/ change my job/ move house/ find a life partner.”

But things aren’t different and the first thing we need to do before we can make any changes is accept where we are now. Whatever our situation is, that is where we’re starting from and that’s what we’re working with.

Take James for example. James (not his real name) was a client who came to me for coaching having lost his job through stress-induced ill health. Initially he had found it very difficult to come to terms with the fact that he felt he had let his family down by failing to be the breadwinner, by placing the added burden on them of his illness and because he had no answers to their questions about what he was going to do next.

With coaching, he was able to describe in detail his starting point for changing his life, accept his situation and shed his many resentful feelings. He began to plan his recovery in a proactive way. He gave himself permission to find a path forward that would not only provide an income for his family again, but would give him meaningful and fulfilling employment, doing something he felt he could put his heart into. This was something he had never dared dream of before.

How did James do it?

There are various ways he explored for making the changes he needed to make. He used several of these at various stages of his recovery and his ventures into re-employment:

1. Small Steps.
This is appropriate when we are choosing to make a change and have time to plan the shift. When we can already see the opportunities available, then we can break our plan down into small, easy to manage steps. This is often a good option when making life changes involving the whole family, when lots of different preferences are being taken into account.

2. Giant Leaps.
Sometimes there are points in our lives when we reach a sudden realisation about our life situation. Perhaps this has happened to you, where your authentic self reveals itself to you through the haze of conformity and you decide that you can no longer tolerate living a lie. In these kinds of circumstances, changing to a lifestyle that’s in keeping with your values may involve a giant leap.

This step may be preceded with a great deal of trepidation, but often the revelation itself will supply you with the energy and courage to take that leap. In such a circumstance I once left my job, my home and my partner all within the space of a few months. What emerged from that was a much happier future, much more in keeping with who I am.

3. Most important thing first.
Is there one burning issue that, above all else, you are convinced you know the solution to? Sometimes this is the key to your next step. Perhaps it’s a vocation you know you have to pursue, downshifting your home to pay off your mortgage or starting to home educate your children. At times like these, focussing on what’s most important for you is the key. Then it becomes easier to handle the smaller issues around that decision.

4. Just take the first step.
This is a useful option to consider when you are experiencing a great deal of resistance to moving towards your goal. Then it’s often worth doing anything just to get the momentum going and get you over that first hurdle of resistance. In my experience, even the tiniest and seemingly insignificant of actions can cause a shift in motivation. If it turns out to be the wrong step, you can usually make corrections or start again.

There are many ways in which we can make changes. With some thought, and once we have accepted our starting point, we can choose a method that best suits our present circumstances.

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2. How to Manifest Some Community Soul. By Neil Millar.

Fourteen years ago, a work colleague went into hospital for a triple heart bypass. He didn't return to work.

What happened to him saddened me to the extent that within eight weeks I handed in my notice and began a downshift. Every day, during the period before I left this work, I considered how my employer could be so cruel as to make a man, late in his working life, redundant at such a time of personal difficulty. First, I didn't want to be a part of a company that behaved like this. Second, I'd come to dislike my work. Third, if the company could do that to him, what would they do to me?

Buying a window cleaning round was hardly natural career progression for a guy in a management position at a prominent insurance brokerage, but that is what I did. For several years I enjoyed the freedom and the challenge of building a successful business, but then I took a fall - a 14 foot, head-first fall. By the time I returned to work - 12 weeks later, my marriage was on the rocks and I came to the conclusion my work wasn't what I wanted it to be anymore. For the next seven years I disappeared into a black hole.

I had a dream I wasn't prepared to give up. While everything I had previously worked for slipped away from me, I became obese, got into debt, entered an abusive relationship and ended up in a council house in a street that never slept - student's drinking all night on one side and drugs and arms deals going down on the other. But I had a dream...

My dream was a home located in beautiful countryside, but close by the sea. I wanted hills. I wanted to be around animals. I wanted both my children to live with me. I wanted a simple life, writing books and articles that people would read and use to better their life. This is exactly what manifested - but with some interesting twists.

I never anticipated I'd grow my own vegetables, nor that I'd be learning how to freeze or bottle what I grow for the winter. I never anticipated that I'd have a water butt or that I would compost. I never anticipated that when my computer crashed that I would be so upset to lose a multitude of email addresses of people I hardly ever communicated with, only to find that they were to be replaced with some of the most incredible people in the world.

After 7/7 I noticed how depressed people seemed. I also noticed the media had turned highly negative. I put one and one together and realised the two went fairly hand-in-hand. Here I decided to do something about it. I contacted some bestselling authors and top coaches in personal and spiritual development. Each month we now turn out a publication that gives people hope, insights into their life and guidance if they want it. I write several articles each month too. It's been a great success.

The next stage of my simpler life is my children's education. The problem is I have to balance my work with them not coming home from school uninspired, bullied or bored. I want them coming home with zest from a great day having blissed out in study that excites them. I want their lives to be about things they need like cooking real food (not cakes) and growing food (not sunflowers); and things they love like singing, art and fun. The days of teaching history we can't change, taught in a way that fails to draw out the important lessons like how we stop the next war, are gone. If you have suggestions on getting the balance right, with a slant on home education, I'd welcome suggestions.

© Neil Millar www.communitysoul.co.uk

3. This month’s exploration.

What is the most important change for you to make in 2007? (be as specific as you can).

What is your starting point? (define it in as much detail as possible.)

Which of the methods described in the article “Making Changes” would help you most?

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4. Quote of the month.

“Only in growth, reform, and change, paradoxically enough, is true security to be found.”

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

“ No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”

Source Unknown

" Be not afraid of changing slowly; be afraid only of standing still."

Chinese Proverb

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5. Want to comment or contribute?

If you would like to comment on any aspect of this newsletter or submit an article for inclusion in it, please contact me by email.

6. Teleclasses and personal coaching.

How to Step off the Treadmill

A series of three teleclasses, each one hour long, exploring the elements of downshifting, the reality of living a sustainable lifestyle in a consumer driven society and how to motivate ourselves to make the switch.

A teleclass is a straightforward, low cost and sustainable way of taking part in a group learning session. It’s like a conference telephone call.Each participant is supplied with a phone number to call at the appointed time. When you call, you will be welcomed to a virtual classroom where you can listen to the class leader present the teleclass material and you can participate by asking or answering questions if you wish. So it’s just like being in a real classroom or workshop setting except that you can take part in the comfort of your own home without having to travel anywhere!

To view the current teleclass schedule, click here.

Personal Coaching

One-to-one coaching can help you:

• let go of your old,stressful way of life, find a new path of vitality and an improved way of living.
• deal with fears surrounding financial responsibilities, your relationships with others and other consequences of making a major life change.
• improve your health, wellbeing and spiritual life.
• further your personal growth.
• achieve balance, clarity and peace.
  
  You can view further details on personal coaching here.

7. Subscriptions and privacy policy

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I will never sell, share or otherwise divulge your contact details, including your email address, to any third party.

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Have a fruitful month!

Sally

Sally Lever
Sustainable Living Coach

+44 (0)1749 674842
sally@sallylever.co.uk
http://www.sallylever.co.uk/